The Good & the Sad...

Today marks a very special, yet bittersweet day in my family.

My beautiful baby sister is 22 years old today. Happy Birthday Laura Jean Jelly Bean!!!

The other day while spending a girl's birthday weekend up in Denver (stay tuned for fun pictures), I recalled to my sister when I met her and held her for the first time (I am going to find that picture of us together). I was about to turn 5 years old and I was a proud big sister. On the way to the hospital my Grandma Laura and I, who I was staying with while my parents were tending to their new baby, made a quick stop at the store to pick out a gift for me to give to my new sister. I settled on a small fluffy, white sheep. I can still remember the way it felt and how I felt when I saw my sister for the first time. I am so blessed to have Laura in my life and I couldn't imagine growing up without a better little sister.

Us celebrating Laura's 21st last year in Vegas...good times!

I look forward to her milestones, such as graduating from college, getting married, and having babies (hopefully she has some girls that I can play dress up with). She has been there for me through all my milestones as well...my maid of honor when I got married to the love of my life, and she was the only person that was there when BOTH of my boys were born. She isn't just a sister to me, she is my best friend!

My sister and mom found this note that my Grandma wrote...it is called Time: Too

slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who

grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love TIME IS NOT. Such awesome words. I think I get my deep thought from Grandma, she was always a deep and meaningful thinker. I love how each of us have a little bit of her in us.

Also, a year ago today my sweet and beautiful Grandma Laura went up to Heaven. I remember the tears that were shed and all of my family coming together to embrace one another and comfort each other during a time of sadness. We all miss her so dearly. The things we have left of her are all the amazing memories we made with her, pieces of paper with her distinct writing on it, the belongings that were hers that we divvied up (in particular my turquoise ring that when I wear I think about her each time), and the pictures that hang on our walls and grace the pages of photo albums. There are no more tight hugs or gentle kisses, or sweet smiles. However, I feel there is something even deeper now that she is with God. I feel the presence of her in my life each day. She is always there watching over us and especially protecting my babies. Sometimes I think I smell the perfume she used to wear, or hear her joyous laugh when I am in a crowd of people.

I have a grandparent collage on a wall in my house of old pictures of when

all our grandparents were young and these are two of the pictures of my

Grandma. She was such a gorgeous person inside and out and her namesake,

my sister Laura, reminds me so much of her.

Even though a year ago today was a bad day in our family, it is also such a joyous day, not just because it is Laura's birthday, but also because my Grandma is no longer hurting and suffering. She is now singing with the choirs of Heaven and making all the angels laugh with her silliness. Not to say that I am not sad today because I am, but knowing that her life on Earth was so bountiful and now she is enjoying the bounty of Heaven makes it a little easier.

The family celebrating my Grandma's last birthday with her

Kaleb loves his Grandma Laura and still talks about her and tells me he misses her

Two of the most special women I know

This is when my Grandma held Kaden for the first time

My Grandma will forever be missed and we will forever remember her and how she impacted our lives in such an influential way. I miss the special times with her, but I look forward to someday being with her again. I love you so much Grandma, we miss you here but know that you are looking down upon us from up there.